Last week my computer decided that it’s going to make my life miserable. Last weekend my motherboard failed, so I bought a new one. This week my hdd failed. What are the actual odds of both of those things failing in the span of 5 days? Not high. So what else could it be. Well I’ll tell you. My computer is a cock sucker who doesn’t want me to actually get any work done. I am reminded of a point/counterpoint that I read on The Onion a few years ago. However, my conversation with my computer can be summed up like this…

Me: “Hey computer. How are you? Let’s get some work done. Then maybe later I can treat you to an ice cream sandwich.”

Computer: “Fuck you. I’m gonna go ahead and screw your motherboards LAN adapter so hard it hardware interrupts so much that you computer is going to be unusable.”

After I try fixing the problem by reformatting several times I realized that it was a hardware problem, specifically my motherboard. So I replace the motherboard. Everything is fine and dandy for a day or two. I come home last night and there some weird message on the screen and explorer.exe isn’t running.

Me: “Uh oh. What’s this?”

Computer: “LOLZ. You n00b. Try and fix my motherboard so I’m gonna let your hdd fail. All your base belong to us. Hahahaha. Eat a dick.”

So now I have to go out and buy 2 hdd’s, put them on RAID and hopefully everything will work.

Do you know why I’m not afraid, nor ever will be afraid of machines taking over Terminator style? Because they’re too fucking stupid to make themselves durable. So take that machines, I will always be your master. I am your John Connor. So you will be the one eating a dick.